Judgement, Opinion and Criticism
Often others judgement or opinion of our work whether personal or professional affects our work (work means anything which involves effort) vis-à-vis affects our will.
Next time, your inner mind wants to do same or similar work, your body’s mind will remind you of the criticism or reprimand and then you will be tempted not do that work or to dodge it or be tempted to change your behaviour towards that work. In other words your will is getting affected by those comments.
Sometimes even compliments can affect your behaviour and you can feel deflated in your work if no one compliments you regularly and this can affect your future work or how you approach work in general. The spirit of your will or sense of duty or pursuing your goal is crushed in a way by constantly seeking someone to compliment your work or effort.
Let’s say, you are to new to singing or you are a budding artist then a compliment or criticism can swing your direction to either pursue further or give it up. That’s why the old saying, when you meet someone doing something new or still starting their journey in a particular work, either say something good or say nothing at all.
Then there is a question of how to critic?
For the critic giver
- Must hold genuine concern (for the person or the work being critiqued).
- Intent matters (hidden agenda – difficult to say, it’s more of probability of being high or low, or how well you know them and so on).
- Words matter (chose and reflect on the words you will be using).
- Reflect on the criticism that you would sharing with the person for a while, our rule is to wait for 7 min or 7 days then critic.
- Ask permission to critic
- Critic the work only (with practice you will get better)
- If your ready to do all this and still would like to critic then probably you genuinely want to critic and then go ahead and critic, the receiver too will appreciate it 🙂
For the critic receiver
- Reflect if there genuine concern (even strangers can have genuine concern at times).
- Is it loaded with intent (their own vested interest, hidden pressure).
- Do they have your permission to critic (refuse boldly if you don’t feel like receiving it).
- Don’t receive critic instantaneous, say you will think about it.
Then think about it for next 7 min or 7 days and either accept the whole or in parts or dump it in the garbage.
- If their criticism helped you in your work or life then thank them at this point, not when they offered it to you.
Judgements, opinions, criticism, compliments all affect our will. If it’s affects our will, then as will-boot-campers it is good idea to reflect on these qualities as well. Although our perspective is from a will-plane, you can use this approach as a parenting or relationship tools and techniques as well.
Do reflect on others critiquing you and how your work that got affected (could be same work or another work getting affected due to upsetting your mood or feelings)
Reflect today, your own style of critiquing others. If you can bring in some of the advices we shared into your own practice.
Wishing you Courage.
Capt. Preetham Madhukar